Tiny Bones

I remember watching “Fight Club” in the theater and the line about how teeth were just “little tiny bones sticking out of your head”.    That line always has stuck with me for some reason.  It makes me think of how oddly amazing we, homo-sapiens, are.   We go through 2 sets of teeth in our life, our hair and nails continue to grow our entire lives ( and for a little while after death I am told)  Our ears and noses is just flesh covered cartilage that also enlarges as we get older.

The real oddity is that this whole assembly… the body…it’s parts…. its logic and its emotion….it’s sole purpose is to cart that 3lb of gray matter situated between our ears around.

Thats it.

Ya know what is even more trippy.  Is that we all have this inevitable unknown expiration date.   That point… when no matter what we do… we shed this mortal coil and return to the dirt.   I’m not gonna get into a religious/spiritual transcendental theology discussion.   We die—and soon as we do our bad bacteria and all the little baddies come to eat us.  True stuff.

So as I sit here in this office and stare at this screen.  I’m writing what will be left of me when I’m gone.  See–we do facebook, instagram, twitter—- pictures, quotes, blurbs, memes.    But what essence of that is truly you?

Am I the sum of all my memes?

Probably not.

I guess my point is that it’s difficult to “be” a person in that medium.  When you write you have to convey something–you have to keep someone wanting to link these words together to develop a “you”.   So if you are familiar with my writing skills ( lack there of is often used) you will know that some days I hit shit so square on the head that your ears ring…. but most of the times I am out here in the dark… with a match… in a windstorm…riding a tornado…trying to see where I’m supposed to be.

So last night I was sitting on my couch rough housing with one of my dogs.  We got a little rough and he ended up coming at me off the top ropes and power-bombed me.  His head hit me square in the cheek..and at that moment a filling and part of my tooth gave up the ghost.

I sat there with that taste in my mouth like I just licked a wood spoon or tested a 9 volt battery.   Then the sudden rationalization that one of my tiny little bones was now floating freely in my mouth.   Being swirled around by the sudden production of saliva as a reactionary response to trauma.   I quickly located the awol piece with my fingers and pulled it free to examine it.     I was thinking to myself ” I’m 44 years old… and a piece of me fell off. ”    But we are conditioned to not take it that seriously.  In comparison– If I was just sitting here and my hand just fell off…I believe there would be more concern…I think I might be quite alarmed if my hand just popped off and left a stump.   But here I am… a piece of me, although minute, was no longer connected to the fatherland.

This spawned another thought.

Why am I so attached to the shit I own when I am barely affected by a piece of me falling off.

( Thats some kind of 32nd level introspective bodhisattva shit right there)

I have stuff. Like a house and polebarn full of stuff….and why? Seriously… what for?  I’ll tell you why “someday”.    Thats right …. SOMEDAY.    Someday I’m gonna finish that bike… Someday I’m gonna play that guitar….. but much like the limited shelf life of—-MY LIFE….Someday will never come.   It’s procrastination by proxy.   I’m going to do it… when I can do it.      Well people go their entire lives by pretending that one day you will have all this time to do these things.   We dont.   So do it now.   Do what you want and fuck the timeline.

I have pieces falling off… of me….but I keep adding tiny bones to my life….. tiny bones belong in a graveyard…..not in a persons life.