The Immensly Quixotic Existance of Good and Evil

I drink too much. Well at least lately and here I am trying to be healthy. I’ve always found that the booze lets me get past that barrier between myself and me.  I guess it’s something like my ID and my Ego doing this little dance and twist.   But last night, sitting down and really watching people I realized something between drink two and four. (and no I’m not a raging alcoholic, I just have a penchant for the skullduggery of life) So as I sit here I’m going to relay to you the method of my madness, the nitty of my gritty, the float under my boat.

We have all been told the great epic battle between that of faith and religion. That of Sin and Virtue. That of Angels and Demons.  There are so many ways to put it…the ying and the yang, the dark and light side of the force.  So I started thinking, and did was spurred on by reading some old C.S Lewis…The Screwtape Letters.  If you havent read them, you might want to take a gander. Just for the hell of it…no pun intended.  So I needed that tangent to go on this one.  The black and white of it comes down to what you really and truly believe. If you want to look deeper into this…have at it, but right now I’m gonna use it to guide my boat on the river of life and embrace my shortcomings,vices and virtues.

The battle in heaven was never really won or lost. The expulsion of Satan from Heaven was more of an agreement between him and the Almighty.  When Satan was “put out” he took certain legions of the flock with him.  God realized that the impending battle would tear the fabric of existence known to all. Angels and Demons are not mortal, but instead somewhere in-between. As long as we have faith…angels will continue to safeguard and defend the gates and sanctity of the Kingdom of God, and on the other side of that coin, as long as there is evil in the world, darkness in the heart of man, there will be the legion of Satan’s horde crawling forth from the depths to pull sinners into the Lake of Fire.   So we got that…… Good and Evil.

Ok. Back to the tangent. Since Satan was Gods right hand man, God realized this was something that could potentially destroy all that he had created and possibly even corrupt his new project Man.  So heres the deal that came out of it, the rub, and the accord that will come to pass.   God approached Lucifer and said…. “You are something I never wanted to understand, that of doubt and darkness. I created you and now you are something I cannot control. But this impending war will end all that I have created and I cannot have that for I am , and forever will be, but as with all things…I must have purpose.    So I will pose this to you. I will give you a chance to show me my folly, and in my new creation I will allow an attempt to corrupt them.  And if can, I will give you a kingdom of your own.  But these are the rules: My creation MAN must commit his decent of his own volition and choice. You can influence and suggest, but cannot directly inspire them to commit SIN. If I win, you will renounce your rebellion and come unto me and be awash in love and purity.   Now to be equal I will send one of my angels to represent my holy temple, he will be able to influence and suggest, but as with my rules, cannot directly inspire them to follow the path of truth. Do we have an accord?”      Lucifer, set before his previous master, thought this.  “A kingdom of my own..with legions to command. To prepare for the end of this miserable lie that is love, to darken the world with the reality of greed. ”  …. following the thought, he looked back into the infinite light that showered down around him. ” I will take your challenge and prove to you the folly of your creation and bestow unto me a kingdom that will reign over their souls after they have wasted away their mortal coil, BUT….lets raise the stakes.  If bestowed my kingdom…for each soul created your manthing with have a shadow….and within that shadow my darkness…my spawn will live..and influence them to their dying day, only ever corrupting them of their own choice”      God, with so much faith in his new creation, agreed…but as with all things….black and white….good and bad….said that if Lucifer was successful that he would bestow an angel to guard the soul of his creation Man, so that a balance could exist.

From here we all know how the story goes.   Blah blah blah..

Man is fallible. We are a walking contradictions of faith and doubt. Of Morality and Vice.   I just told you the above story to give you a primer for what I’m gonna spout off about next.

I believe that each one of us has a little demon….little devil….something that is dark and forboding. We all know it’s there, lurking in our shadow…whispering.  Remeber the saying “scared of his own shadow?” good reasoning for it.  Thats why we get scared in dark places, where that little devil can run around and become this ominous thing that confronts our morals.  The religious will defend themselves with faith, others will demand that logic and science will turn away the flight or fight experience that the darkness brings.  And for his part in “the deal” there is always our personal angel, reassuring us that there is power within us to fend off the whispers of the devil and his words of deciet.

So here I sit, glass of scotch in hand…smoldering cigar sitting in the ashtry next to me…writing to you about what I see. I want to name him….find out his name…. perhaps hes a decendant of Screwtape…or a nephew of Wormwood….both devils of culture in the higher eschelon of the busniess of evil . I ask him now and then.. when the night is dark and I can hear him….plotting and scheming….”whats your name you little shit” ….”Go get me a pizza or something”.  Never a reply.    I hear him though…and I see him…a reflection in the bottom of a glass when the last of it slides down my throat.  I hear him when I buy something I dont really need. I feed him with my sins…we all do.   I think my angel is stupid. I think hes union or something, or perhaps just depressed.   I think he talks to me more than I am willing to listen, and when I do it’s for a fleeting moment of inspiration.  Too often it resounds in my heart as regret that I could of done more in certain situations, or perhaps less.   I’ve never been a “sorta” person….I’m on or off……up or down…….black or white…….good …..evil?  We all have it going on….whos your devil?

Thanks for reading this if you made it this far, I appreciate it, and comments are always welcomed.

Goodnight….and Goodluck